Letting myself feel bad – to make myself feel better

I’m not going to mince my words here – I hate feeling cr*p and sh*tty!

By that, I don’t mean that I’ve been unwell with a bad cold or struck down with an illness.  It’s more a case of that dark gloom that can come out of nowhere and hit you sideways, making you feel that EVERYTHING you do is rubbish!

The thing is – this really isn’t like me.  I am usually very positive about situations, interactions, and myself.  I know how to see the best of even the most difficult situations…usually.

As a result, I get REALLY frustrated when this sensation creeps up and smoothers me.  Grr!

I’m a dreadful patient too.  My fab partner, Gareth, is thankfully very patient, and he knows that it’s not like me to be down either. <<phew>>

Unfortunately, this weekend, there was no avoiding it – it hit me.

I’ve been really busy for months on end.  If I am completely honest, I have been flat out for 18 months, having had to pivot dramatically when Covid hit my business with a sledgehammer.

Since that time, I’ve revisited marketing an online marketing training course I did 3 years ago, launched my YouTube channel, undertaken training for an NLP certificate, turned my book into a digital course, got my recruitment business back on its feet, embraced open water swimming, started a new relationship (Gareth and I have been together for over a year now), signed up to further training programmes (6 months and 3 months at the same time – yes ,they overlapped) and have obtained trademark status for my APE Mindset methodology and philosophy and … yes, the list continues … more recently, launched my Harnessing Happiness podcast.  At the start of this year, my recruitment business suddenly went full pelt as the job market picked up.  The vacancies are now plentiful although more candidates are definitely required, but that is a topic for another post!

In short, I’ve been VERY busy.  I love being busy but sometimes everything becomes too much, and it hits me.

Fortunately, though, I know that when it does, it only lasts for 24-48 hours and that I will kick myself back into touch. It brings me to a complete halt, however, and makes me stop (probably not a bad thing).

As far as I am aware, it’s not hormonal – those days are long gone.  Maybe it’s the alignment of the planets / the moon cycles and energy flows.  I rather think my crazy, mad approach to work and embracing taking on too much at any one time is what is really behind it!

I had an interesting conversation with a fabulous coach friend of mine last week, during which we touched upon timelines, a powerful coaching technique.  It helps you to establish what triggers your emotions and how you can change emotions attached to memories.  The memories are still there but once you alter the emotions that are attached to them / let them go, then your experiences moving forward can change.

This link goes into more detail about the timeline exercise.


There is also Timeline Therapy Technique, which is just as powerful:


Back to my being busy! When other stuff is added to my already very busy schedule, my body announces that it has had enough.  In the last couple of weeks, I’ve also attended several social events (I do love catching up with friends), parties, the cinema, networking events … all of which require energy and time, and I think this culminates in tipping me over the edge.

I have been grounded by my physio (and advised not to exercise, but rest) due to shin splints so I haven’t been getting the doses of fresh air and exercise that I so desperately need.

Heck, it’s all about balance.

When you get out of kilter, overwhelm kicks in – overwhelm being an opportunity to stop, take a step back, review and rework / plan what you are doing and bring about changes to get different results.

The conversation with my friend, Jude, about the timeline therapy made me realise two things: one – that it would be interesting to actually plot when I do have these moments, and see where in time they fall and whether there are other things that cause them aside from the obvious; two – that I have a strategy in place to cope.

My strategy is very much acceptance and the knowledge that it doesn’t last very long at all.  Knowing that it is a process I need to allow myself to go through and then shift my mindset, my perspective and energy accordingly.  It is my APE Mindset kicking in.

Hear more about my APE Mindset in my short podcast introducing this methodology and philosophy. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/007-your-introduction-to-ape-the-happy-clappy-soundbite/id1587903319?i=1000540823447

At the weekend, I took time out and did very little, aside for taking myself off for a 3-mile walk around the country park and pootling around some local shops.  This was just the tonic I needed, and I am now back on it, with gusto, having properly rested my body and mind.

What have I learned?

  • I’ve achieved a lot in a relatively short time
  • I need to value what I have achieved a lot more, and not be so hard on myself
  • It’s OK to slow down and have more ‘me’ time – everything happens in good time
  • I have some great coping strategies in place – I love sharing them with clients and those who cross my path
  • Coaching is powerful, and I love and value the training I have undertaken
  • It’s okay to feel cr*p from time to time
  • I need fresh air, exercise, and nature in my life
  • I need to get more organised and block out sections of my working week to do certain things in batches, and save time in the long run
  • I’m due a long holiday in the sun! (Who isn’t?!)

Here are the links to all that I have mentioned in this post.  Please do take a look!