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Dealing with Stuff Builds Confidence & Resilience

Star Quality

Coaching is powerful stuff and I regularly turn the tables on myself to increase my own Confidence  & Resilience Training via the lessons life throws at me.

I love creating and sharing content and it might, or might not, be to your taste, and that is okay.  What, however, in my humble opinion, is not okay is for ‘armchair warriors’ to sit in anonymity doing nothing themselves but instead spend time proactively criticising / hurling abuse at those like me for what we’re doing instead.

Last month I uploaded a new course to Insight Timer, How to Escape Narcissistic Relationships, Reclaim Your Life & Be Happy  Within 24 hours I received a VERY negative comment and a 1 star rating.  Which naturally upset me. I am only human after all.  And, I had poured an awful lot of my own personal journey into the content that I’d shared which was the point of criticism.

I’d like to point out that I have since also received 5-star ratings from other students, of which there are now over 200 registered for this course alone.

Thankfully, Insight Timer are brilliant at removing unpleasant comments, which they did with this one as soon as I’d flagged it up to them.  That said, the one-star rating soon reappeared minus the nasty comment – the person who’d administered it must’ve been pretty irked and determined to throw some muck.

To be honest, I feel empathy for them.  They’re clearly not in a great place if they feel the desperate need to make negative comments in the first instance, let alone have another go too.

Sadly, this is all too true of life these days.  When you put your head above the parapet to do good stuff, there are always plenty of others who want to pull you back down to their level.

And this is where the resilience training comes in.

Keeping strong, staying true to yourself, and believing in yourself is paramount.  If you want to increase your inner strength, confidence and resilience then please do reach out and book your FREE initial chat with me today.

Don’t let the buggers grind you down!

I had to relearn this lesson again this week.  I am getting more resilient though.  Honest!

I uploaded another course to Insight Timer last week, How to Live Your Best Life Using APE Mindset™ Methodology – A Life Hack For Life, It was published on Monday April 1st.  No, it wasn’t an April Fool’s joke!

Within 24 hours I’d received a 2-star rating for a 3-lesson course into which I’d again poured myself into to help others with an easy-to-use life hack.

Now, I’m not suggesting that I know everything, but I do like to think that what I have created is valuable content.  In short, many years of learning via my personal journey have been the backbone to this course which I subsequently spent many hours summarising, recording, editing, and uploading to share. And when I have shared it with others previously, the feedback has always been positive.

People are of course entitled to their opinion.  However, I was raised with the mantra, ‘if you’ve nothing nice to say, then don’t say it’.  And that is pretty much how I live my life.  I see behaviour, observe, and comment but I don’t outwardly criticise or pull others down to make myself feel better.  That ‘s not in my nature at all.  So, when it’s done to me, hands up, I find it hard to deal with in the moment.

It’s like a punch in the guts.

When I first saw this 2-star review appear it demoralised me tremendously.

It ignited that monkey brain chatter which, as a rule of thumb, I have completely under control to the point that it knows not to enter my mind as it doesn’t get listened to. This however was a different matter and clearly a lesson in resilience that I still need to get under my belt.

I was doing so well too!

Doing the Work

That unrequested negative comment that could do so much damage if I let it – which of course, is what the person who delivered it wants. To put me in my place. To stop me from speaking out. To stop me from helping others improve their lives.


I am only assuming that this person wants to improve their life without putting in the necessary effort. Without doing the inner work. Yes, they may well have downloaded the Insight Timer app to do so but they’re probably expecting miracles and to be given specific answers / get instant results without doing any of the work required in order to bring about the changes their desire.

You can only change and transform your life when you’re open and ready for it to take place and for it to materialise you must do the work. It doesn’t JUST happen.

  • It’s sensing it.
  • Feeling it.
  • Observing.
  • Making changes, however subtle, to your own behaviour.

Knocking someone down for creating content that doesn’t transform your life at the touch of a button isn’t the answer.

Put yourself out there. Learn some lessons. And then learn some more.  And keep learning.  That is what life is all about.

That rating made me question whether it was worth creating any further content.

  • Was it worth me bothering?
  • Is it really rubbish?
  • What’s the point?

It’s clearly still triggering the lifetime of narcissistic abuse I’ve received, and mostly recovered from, hence creating the course on narcissism to help others.  When you are constantly criticised, however much you believe in yourself, its all too easy to wonder if that ONE other person is correct in their abuse of you. You can read more about my experience on this blog.

They’re not!

I slept on this rating and felt a whole lot better about it the following day.

I know it’s their stuff.

I must keep being me.

It’s the only person I can and want to be.

I’ve been reworking my world, and my life for several years now, doing the work, learning, and progressing. Backwards, forwards, and back again – but still progressing and loving life.

Be Yourself and Love Your Life

And, by sharing this story, I’m encouraging you to please be yourself too.

You can only be you.  Don’t try and be someone else because it suits that other person – you’re not then being true to yourself.

When you’re true to yourself, that’s where you find happiness.  People will still try and knock you back down, but that’s where the resilience starts to build.

I thought I’d dealt with the negatives via my alternative Instagram account which thankfully have abated. I guess I just wasn’t expecting to receive any this time.  Not that any of us expect them, and neither should we expect abuse.  If we require comments, we will ask for them, which I have also done recently too.  The response wasn’t what I expected, but I was appreciative and made the necessary changes.

If I took note of the negatives, it would stop me.  When the reality is that I now have over 600 students across my 3 published courses.  From what I can tell on one course alone I’ve had 255 plays – that’s a lot of listening!

Don’t ever let the armchair warriors / sofa referees pull you down.

Keep being you!